Wednesday, 28 August 2013

An independent Scotland would be too poor to attack Syria.

The pro Scottish independence 'Yes Scotland' campaign was dealt a massive blow today when unofficial sources in London said that if Scotland decided to 'go it alone' and leave the UK then it would no longer be able to join in and 'blow the beejeesus' out of foreign countries that it didn't like. It would be too wee , too poor and too stupid. (copyright acknowledged to 'Better Together' campaign).

Scotland has been able to join in with the successful attacks on Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya and can now help to attack Syria. However should Scotland decide to choose separation from the UK then this would all stop. It would be forced to follow countries such as Norway. Sitting on the sidelines and building up pointless billions in reserves for a rainy day when it could have been getting stuck in to some foreigners and spending like there's no tomorrow [ Ed - which might happen if we manage to start WW3 this time ].

The unofficial spokesman explained that Assad of Syria might have gassed his own people so we need to fire cruise missiles, bunker busters, daisy cutters, drone hellfires, depleted uranium, phosphorous, napalm and agent orange[Ed- think that was Vietnam] at them and 'kill people properly'. This would be of great assistance to Al Qaeda who are fighting to overthrow the independent state of Syria.

The successful attacks on Iraq, Afghanistan and Libya killed millions of civilians and left the countries in ruins highlighting how puny Syria's killing machine will be compared to ours and highlighting how we would be 'Better Together' in a United Kingdom.

It's essential that we control Syria as we need to build the oil and gas pipelines from Qatar to the West and the US needs an excuse to get the Fed's private printing presses rolling again to help 'boost' the US economy...$17trillion in debt and rising..oops.

Supporters of the pro Union 'Better Together' team have been speaking about the need to bomb Syria quickly....

Convicted war criminal [Ed - in Malaysia only ] and middle east peace envoy Tony Blair said.." The hand wringing has to stop. We must act"

Prime Minister David Cameron said.."Britain must bomb Syria".

Sir William of Hague said that the "Syria chemical attack threatens our security" and that all the evidence from the sarin attack will have been destroyed after 5 days.[Ed- but the weapons inspectors were investigating a chemical attack from 4 months ago when this attack took place.]

Mr Hague was recently seen training and plans to be 'one of the first on the beach' should a seaborne attack against Syria take place.

Former Labour spin doctor Alistair Campbell said "it would be hugely irresponsible and incredibly dangerous" if we didn't bomb Syria. Seen here remembering the dead from his previous wars as he bravely tackles some cake...

'Scottish Labour' leader Ms lamont was unavailable for comment and is thought to be organising this weekends top secret public meeting for 'Glasgow Better Together'. The location is on a 'need to know' basis but 'Subway' sandwich shops are being monitored for activity by 'separatist spooks' as we speak.

So there you have it. Scotland can 'go it alone' and choose independence....losing their chance to fight and die or be maimed abroad, store crumbling nukes and have brilliant parades. Nothing but a boring backwater of peace and stability.

Or be 'Better Together'. Stay with the Union and play with the big boys. Punching above our weight and spreading democracy around the world. [Ed- spreading violence and chaos ?].


  1. OK. You've changed my mind.

    If we can't go around bullying otehr people that America doesn't like; if we can't kill millions of people because they are a different colour and speak a different language and actually believe in god, (instead of just saying they do so that they can get to wear pretty frocks and bugger boys ) they I believe that we will be Better Together.

    If you can get hold of shhhh ms lamont....shhhhh and let her know, I'll meet her at the secret place and she can sign me up. I'll be the one in the straight jacket...

    No seriously... if we are going to bomb another country and then leave it completely and utterly buggered, can Scotland people be excused. We really don't want our trams blown up as a revenge attack. Christ it's taken 7 years as it is and the bloody things are still not running.

  2. hi tris... if we get independence then we'll just have to leave the rest of the UK to be the world's policeman while we mind our own business. Like Norway does now. We'll have to get out of the EU as well though as they're keen to get involved in overseas adventures. Baroness Ashton enjoys interfering overseas despite being unelected by us.
    The Tories are the bad cop and Labour are the good cop in the Syrian adventure. All swapped around since the Iraq adventure. But same bullshit and spin. No difference between tweedle dum and tweedle dee yet people keep voting for them.

  3. Maybe we could drop mrs Ashton on Syria. That qwould fleg with living shiot out of them...especially first thing in the morning. I know I';d not care to wake up and see that.

  4. This comment has been removed by the author.

  5. Hi tris....any port in a storm I suppose. I wouldnae hang aroond tae see if she could make toast though ;)

    1. I think I'd prefer her toast to any of the other favours....


Note: only a member of this blog may post a comment.