Dramatic fire pinpoints 'Better Together' bunker.

There were dramatic scenes at Auchmithie near Arbroath today when a previously unknown bunker caught fire requiring emergency crews to rush to the scene. Fire crews were still dowsing the flames this evening as experts examined the interior of the bunker. Literature inside the bunker indicates it was the secret headquarters of 'Project Fear', the anti Scottish independence group who are using fear and lies to try and prevent the people of Scotland from voting 'Yes' to independence next year.

An unofficial spokesman said it appeared that the inhabitants had left the gas on when making square sausage rolls and the square sausage had ignited destroying the bunker. They said they found a fur coat on a shoogly peg with the name 'Ms Lamont' stitched in the collar. There was also a burnt out bicycle with 'keep aff wee wullie rennies' stamped on the frame and four sets of damaged tracy island jackets and false eyebrows stamped ' Darling'. Oh and some blackened judo suits and burnt out oxter spray cans marked 'Ruth's'

Forensic detectives concluded the items belonged to the big hitters from 'Better Together' ...Lamont, Rennie, Davidson and Darling. They hadn't been seen in public for a few months and had been assumed to have left the country.

Luckily there was a 'Better Together' anti independence top secret public meeting through in Glasgow today so there was no one staying in the bunker.

More photos from the scene...

Only joking about the 'Better Together' bunker story...yeah really. It was actually an 'arbroath smokey' set up that set the surrounding grass on fire. A bit embarrassing for the company involved....

Tasty smokies though...

The village of Auchmithie was holding a historic re enactment day and Scottish saltires were in evidence around the village church. Huge saltires that are sadly missing from Scottish buildings these days. Replaced by the Union flag or EU flag.

This seemed to upset a few people who wandered around the village waving the Union flag. One lady sat in the church yard waving her Union flag for hours ( unable to photograph as it seems to upset Unionists if they're seen waving a Union flag). Weird. Oh and the smokey seller was obviously a Union supporter. Despite selling Scottish arbroath smokies in a Scottish village which was re enacting old Scottish cultures and traditions he set up his stall with Union flags everywhere. I think he was selling them as well. Or giving them away.