There were tears of joy tonight as David Beckham finally hung up his boots to spend more time with his family. Beckham spent his last season in France where he was used to help generate income by promoting new sports kit for the fans.
Beckham's retirement will spare the blushes of England managers who had to negotiate carefully around Beckhanism. Afraid to tell him he was past it in case they were struck down by the baying tabloid press for being unpatriotic.
Beckham hung around the 2012 London Olympics like a bad smell. Hoping to get picked for 'Team GB' but being disappointed and forced to smile for the cameras instead while inwardly fuming.
He will now team up with Glasgow Rangers legend Gordon Ramsay to take the restaurant sector by storm.
Have a happy retirement Dave and 'keep believing'.